I’ve begun receiving final confirmations and details of my Book Week events and have noticed an alarming trend. Many of the documents seem to refer to me as ‘the performer’ and my sessions as ‘performances’.

Should I tell them I can barely carry a tune? That I have absolutely no sense of rhythm? That I’ve never really considered those qualities to be necessary for a writer (although the ability to spell the word ‘rhythm’ occasionally comes in handy)? It looks like I may have to rethink things a little. I’m sure I have those old juggling balls in a box around here somewhere …