Apparently, ‘unco’ is no longer a word. I have had to pull it from The Big Dig at the eleventh hour, having been confronted by a sea of blank faces when I tested it out on some readers.

The closest one of them came was a very tentative, ‘Umm, uncool?’

Come on, people! Save this word! We need unco. How else am I going to describe my dancing?

(also no longer meaningful – ‘tanktop’. Eh, no great loss there).